It’s Complex

By Srishti Bali

“Where such men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love.”

Sigmund Freud

Binary thinking entraps. Yet, society operates through the subscription of dichotomy – two polar opposite categories. You can be either good or bad, you can be moral or immoral, you can be a Madonna or a Whore.

Sigmund Freud, founder of psychoanalysis devised the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’. The ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ theorises Freud’s observations of some of his heterosexual male patients, who subscribed to binary perceptions of women either as good, pure and chaste Madonnas or as bad, seductive, promiscuous Whores.

Much of Freud’s work has been popularly rooted in the tension between sexual and aggressive tendencies that determine a range of psychological patterns. In this case, the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ described how men with this Complex had sensual feelings towards their mothers on a deep-rooted level, leading to sexual and relationship dysfunction.

However, the psychological basis has been the centre of much debate as critics have argued that the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ is much beyond a psychological condition and that the Complex can also be highly influenced by social conditioning from culture and social structure, causing the Madonna-Whore binary to popularly exist.

We’ve all seen the characterisation of the attractive, manipulative, popular woman the male protagonist is with at the beginning of a popular culture film. She is often one dimensional, highly desired and hated. Her character often does not have much substance.

Then there is the quiet, nice and intelligent girl. She has had to go through some kind of hardship, but her good nature prevails. The male protagonist falls in love with her because she isn’t like ‘other girls’ because she is beautiful yet chaste.

Conversely, in my own experience a woman can often encompass the nuance of being both a ‘Madonna’ and a ‘Whore’. Yet, the social conditioning of the Madonna-Whore Complex results into the perception of a woman being either-or, even possibly to themselves.

The most recent situation (of many) in which I can remember encountering this Complex was an interaction I had with a man. I had recently met this person at a social event that I had gone to with a close friend. One of the girls was clearly interested in him. In fact, I thought they were dating as I walked in on them taking pictures together and sitting closely beside one another. Not long after, he started to speak to me, and I continued with a standard conversation I would have with anyone. But it got weird. The woman that was interested in him started to forcefully insert herself in our conversation, so I decided to distance myself from interacting with him because I thought I unintentionally upset his girlfriend. Mind you, I have been in a committed relationship for the last four years.

It became clear to me that she was not in fact his girlfriend and that he was interested in me -unwelcomely staring at me the entire night and trying to consistently approach me. The second unwelcome glare I got was from the woman I thought was his girlfriend. This proceeded the entire night. It was very much a death stare.

This was when I realised, I was the Whore.

Starting from subtle beginnings, it became more obvious. I had him on social media as I had seen him at virtual events, which he made use of by messaging me the next day.

In the messages that followed, this person reaffirmed my original suspicion about the presence of the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ by stating his infatuation to be driven by desire, despite knowing I was in a committed long-term relationship.

As someone who is both a culturally diverse woman and also very non-conformist, men often view me as mysterious. This mystery often sparks desire. Desire – linking to connotations of being promiscuous. This results in certain assumptions being made, including that I am not the type of person to be in a committed long-term relationship with. Instead, most men categorise me as the ‘Whore’.

In this case, I felt like that one-dimensional woman at the beginning of a popular culture film. Desired and hated.

Much like everything, the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ can be enacted on a spectrum. It can vary from someone actively differentiating those that they desire and ‘are serious about’ to small patterns of behaviour that may suggest the presence of the complex.

Much like myself, you’ve probably seen it, felt it or been the Madonna or the Whore. Or both.

You might have even seen your favourite character in a television series entrap themselves in the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ or your favourite character might have fallen subject to be the Madonna or the Whore.

I refer to a television series because popular culture operates as a common dispenser of social conditioning. The consumption of popular culture by large audiences allows its modes of film, music and media to encapsulate and subtly persuade. This becomes a perfect opportunity to imbed tropes that emerge from social phenomena.

One of many examples include the television series ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’.

Rebecca Bunch, the female protagonist abandons her job at a prestigious law firm to follow her ex-boyfriend Josh to his hometown in an attempt to live a life of happiness with him. Rebecca is portrayed as this ‘crazy’, yet intelligent and likeable character that everyone is rooting for. Although attempting to portray her nuances through capturing her erratic tendencies, manic episodes and toxic coping mechanisms, she is ultimately seen as well-intentioned ‘wife material’.

On the contrary, Valencia is Josh’s current girlfriend. An attractive, one-dimensional character that is not liked by Josh’s family unlike Rebecca, despite being in a relationship with him for years.

As a television series aiming to deconstruct gender performativity and tropes through the exploration of Rebecca Bunch’s complex character, ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ still subtly subscribes to the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ through setting a binary between characters.

However, we also have extreme examples of social commentary beyond indoctrination, such as the Handmaid’s Tale where the dichotomy between the ‘Madonna’ and the ‘Whore’ is evident. The handmaid is differentiated with an intense red and the wives with an angelic teal. Although the depiction of this distinction may not be as vivid in society and we do not label non-wives handmaids, we still have a social dichotomy between a woman being deemed as “wife or girlfriend material” and one who is not, the insinuation typically being that such a woman is only good for sex.

As stated, it is important to flag that the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ is a spectrum that is under play. Although the Handmaids Tale as a popular culture example is the extreme, it exhibits underlying social commentary of the parallels that are evident as a result of the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’.

The ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ is one of many contemporary examples of the detriments of binary thinking. It is not an abstract concept that is difficult to relate to, in fact it is deeply imbedded in our society and is impossible to avoid. My own personal experiences as well as examples of popular culture evident in television series such as ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ and ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’, demonstrate both the social conditioning of the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’ and its potential results. The results are deeply gendered, but they are also inept of complexity. They discount the nuances of people through belittling an entire gender into two categories that cannot be mutually exclusive. The worst part is, that it is very subconscious which means some instances cannot be so obvious – including our own subscription.

It is important for us to dismantle our binary thinking, as it powers social interactions, structures and institutions that are devoid of critical thinking. Complexity isn’t something to be afraid of.