Debunking Unhelpful Stigmas
By Tiani May
TW: This article discusses mental health
Mental health is something that impacts us at every stage of our life – and at some point, we will all have a particular struggle with it. However, it is still so misunderstood and there are so many stigmas held around mental health.
I’m Tiani May, and I have had my fair share of struggles with mental health. Throughout my early years of life, I struggled with trauma which manifested in my diagnosis of OCD, PTSD, depression and anxiety during my high school years. At one point I had also become anorexic and had body dysmorphia. Because of my life experiences, I also ended up learning a lot about domestic/sexual violence, sexism/misogyny and oppression. This, combined with my mental health struggles meant that after leaving school, I went to university to study Psychology because I wanted to use my experience with mental health to help others. I also started my page “Tiani May”, to advocate for equality, women’s rights, anti-violence and mental health.
I wanted to use this opportunity to discuss some unhelpful stigmas of mental health and suggest some things we can all do to support our own mental health.
1. The first untrue stigma is that struggling with mental health automatically means you have a mental illness
You can feel anxious, depressed, have other symptoms of other mental illnesses without actually having the mental illness. As humans, we will feel all of these emotions at some point, whether we become anxious over exams, depressed over loss, etc. Your feelings are always valid and it is important for us to seek help when needed, regardless of what we are going through or what conditions we may/may not have.
2. The next big untrue stigma is that it is weak to speak
Talking to someone about your mental health struggles isn’t as intimidating as you may think. Even if you work yourself up over it beforehand because once again, we all have these feelings at some point in our lives so when you tell someone, they will understand how it feels to be feeling down and shouldn’t judge you for it. Whether you talk to a psychologist, call centre (eg Lifeline), another professional or a friend, it is important to talk and we need to normalise it.
3. Another misleading stigma is that things won’t get better
Humans are literally programmed to think critically and see the negatives, so it is so easy to fall into this trap. But for everything that goes wrong, it’s important to remember what we have to be thankful for. We get to experience life and make memories. When a baby is born they call it the miracle of life but that miracle doesn’t just stop after we are born. We are given the miracle of life each and every day and you are here for a reason. Things will get better, believe me, even just seeking help and learning skills to manage what you’re going through is a positive. It’s something to be proud of and a sign that things can and will get better, even if it takes time. Everyone’s journey is different, and everyone manages their mental health differently, so it is important to explore what works for you. It’s also important not to compare yourself to others because things affect us differently and we are all moving at our own pace. For example, just because you chose to take a year off from studying because it was too much at the time doesn’t make you any less than people who study full time with no gap years. Everyone will face obstacles in their lives and it will happen at different times for everyone.
When we aren’t feeling mentally fit, there are some things that everyone can do to combat negative thoughts and feelings. For example, getting some fresh air and getting your heart rate up however you choose (your body produces “happy hormones” while you do some sort of physical activity, and even if you find it hard to motivate yourself at the start, you feel a sense of achievement afterwards). Having balance is also important - a balanced diet (treat yourself sometimes too, don’t forget that if you are struggling with body dysmorphia symptoms) and a life balance (seeing friends, time to relax by yourself, work/study, chores, doing something you enjoy, etc). You can also google mindfulness activities that help bring you back to the present and find what works for you.
Another thing that anyone can do by themselves or with a trusted person’s help is to notice your emotions as you are feeling them and ask yourself why you are feeling them. You don’t always have to know the answers, but it is good to ask yourself to try and notice patterns. When doing this, think about what you could do to fulfill your needs. Humans have a hierarchy of needs and when the lower ones aren’t met, it is hard to live our lives feeling truly happy. The lower needs are basic needs (safety and physiological needs such as food, water, security, etc) then there are psychological needs (belongingness and love needs and esteem needs) and finally self-fulfilment needs (self actualisation such as achieving your full potential). Type into google “hierarchy of needs”, click on images and you will find some great diagrams to use as a guide and give you everything you need to know. Then using the diagrams, think to yourself “what do I need?”. This might be a person or a space that makes you feel safe, rest, etc.
If you need support, the crisis support service is Lifeline which can be reached at 13 11 14. The National Family Violence counselling service can be contacted at 1800 737 732.
